It's almost midnight on a Wednesday, and I leave the US tomorrow. Again.
I'm filled with doubt -- what did I forget, what didn't I buy, look at how much money I spent, will the plane crash, can I manage all my bags, when will I be home. Worse, I'm haunted by the feeling that I am running away from something -- the boxes of my past life that fill one side of my old room mock me. Do I fear settling down this much? Or is this anxiety only because the money's getting lower and I dread the onslaught of real life?
Bags packed.
Happy New Year 2010.
ReplyDeletePortugal
It was wonderful to see you and we had some great times!
ReplyDeleteI am sure that you did quite enough while you were home. Everybody feels like they are running away from something - most are. Some for good reasons some not. But, you will always have to leave your past behind you. You can't exactly run from it. You past is a part of you, but where you are now and where you are heading are more important.
Don't worry about the boxed up former life - those boxes just contain things. Your experiences are with you.
As for real life, that I understand. It is going to be rough and you won't always like where you are. However, your "real" life can be whatever - the stereotype doesn't have to hold.
Miss you already!
I remember the night before the last time I left Denver... I wasn't filled so much with doubt as wine...oh ya! You were there!
ReplyDeleteOh, the anticipation that always accompanies the long voyage. I guess we know it just a little too well, but that's part of the fun isn't it?
Miss you, girl! Keep living the life!